The difficulties of dating Russian ladies with different views on the world
The difficulties of dating Russian ladies with different views on the world
Whenever foreigners think that dating Russian ladies sounds amazing, they often remember all the controversy that concerned Russians in recent years. The simpler ones may recall something about Russians being communists, autocrats or fascists (whatever is relevant today). But those with more perception would remember less politicized labels.
Table of content:
- Russian society
- The source of all the backward opinions
- Political views
- When can it matter?
- The worldview overall
- What are they like?
- The irritation
- In conclusion
Well, some of these are true in regards to Russians, but it really isn’t fair to project all of these views on the entirety of Russia, as if something you read online about some of them becomes the truth for all of them. But say that you’ve met a Russian woman who shares some of these negative opinions below. It should affect your relationship, naturally. But how exactly?
There are truly several pretty popular opinions among Russians that may seem to you disturbing or uncomfortable. Or not at all, because it all depends on the kind of person you are, same as it depends on the kind of person she is.
As much as you don’t project your expectations on the entirety of Russia, it’s also unfair to expect the reactions of all the foreigners based on just the loudest examples of recent years.
Western culture, however, holds some phenomena quite dearly. Freedom, being enterprising, open-mindedness are the staples of Western societies (namely, the US, Canada, Britain, France, Germany and so forth). It all came from centuries of struggle and thought. Different thinkers and tons of revolutions lead these people to understand that these are the paramount principles that let a country prosper.
The source of all the backward opinions
To be scientific, it is believed that the Russian society is still on the way to this conclusion. That’s why it’s a bit cruel, intolerant and narrow-minded at times. That’s why some prominent figures in Russia speak in concepts that aren’t relevant anymore.
Young people, on the other hand, aren’t very different from their counterparts from the West. It’s not common for them to be judgmental based on your physical appearance, for instance. They are still quite judgmental.
It may seem like Russians are staunch opposition to all things homosexual, after all the statements you can hear on the news. But the truth is most Russians, especially the younger generation, don’t care.
If you tried dating Russian ladies and worry that she might be too homophobic for you (somehow), then it’s easy to mend. Just don’t mention or talk about gay people in front or with her. For most people, it’s only mildly irritating. Talking at length about irrelevant things that somehow should be welcomed by the person you’re talking to makes your interlocutor prone to aggression. And it’s not what want.
It’s probably not wrong to assume that dating Russian ladies would be a bit of a challenge, given how unpleasantly Russian politicians speak about the Western powers. However, it’s an overstatement.
Even in regards to the United States — allegedly the gravest enemy of Russians in popular culture, news, etc — Russians overall aren’t that negative. If you don’t take into account the hyperactive teens and the old people, nobody will care where you come from and what the country of your origin does on a political front.
People really don’t care about it for two reasons:
- Most Russians don’t even follow the news on what’s going on in the world politically. Maybe somewhere else it would be a sign of awareness and attentiveness to know something about it — but not in Russia. The days when it was fun to discuss the Americans are long behind. Now it’s just sickening and boring;
- Even if you were to date a woman from a country hostile to your way of life and pretty much everything about your country — at the end of the day it never matters. It’s not like you get disgusted once a person you like tells you she’s from North Korea. It doesn’t happen
When can it matter?
Like in the case of homophobia, this topic rarely comes up unless anyone of you wants to discuss it. And it may very well turn out that her general opinion about the politics may differ from yours. Of course, it can sour your relationship, in this case. To avoid it, try not to bring up topics like that.
All the other cases are very personal and peculiar. Russia doesn’t lack the militaristic, patriotic or simply nationalist movements, some even sponsored by the state. Young people constitute the majority of people in such organizations. So, it’s really not impossible to meet a woman who openly dislikes the ways of the West.
Well, ‘openly’ is perhaps a strong word, because in many cases you can’t tell if a person is of such opinion until you’ve talked to them for a while. Speaking English isn’t exactly an indicator that you’ve come from a Western country. So, you just need to be aware of this fact, there’s no way to know for sure and probably no way to change such an opinion either.
The worldview overall
You know, if you were to describe by what principles Russians live their lives, the word ‘liberal’ wouldn’t be among them. Neither would there be words like ‘progressive’ or ‘tolerant’, because it’s not what Russians are, apparently.
Though, of course, there are exclusions to the rule: the young people in general — and not just teens, but also young adults. They like to do irregular things to break out of the grey mass. Like dye the hair or put weird clothes not. And it also applies to how they think of the world.
Many of them basically don’t have presumptions. They aren’t average, however, and not even the majority in their own age category. They are just present, you can see them once in a while in public. Mostly in the capital, though.
What are they like?
An average Russian is pretty conservative and doesn’t like big changes. It’s not written anywhere that people must be like that. But you should keep this tendency in mind if you consider dating Russian ladies in the future.
You can see the manifestations of this simple principle not only on big events but in life as well. When it comes to feminism (the modern version of it), the protection of some rights or some, the problems of the minorities, and many other issues of today — the Russians get irritated pretty quickly.
You may found a person who wishes to stand up for people who invent their own problems, but you’ll have to put some effort into your search. You could blame the Russian mentality for being backward and reluctance to join the struggle.
But it probably has something to do with the fact that Russia has many other, pretty tangible problems other than lack of work quotas for women and alike. You know, like surviving.
It’s not a big deal if you like to discuss these subjects once in a while. But if these are your highest values, then it’s probably better if you don’t try dating Russian ladies in the nearest future.
It’s not that you’ll ruin your dating by mentioning the protection of rights of someone more than once, but nobody wants to cool their relationship on the matter like this.
All in all, it’s mostly theory based on what you can experience from an average Russian woman, it’s not necessarily the most accurate depiction of what may happen. And it applies to everything mentioned in this article — the theory is nice and lets you know what to expect, but it is nothing compared to the real experience. Of course, it’s always better to learn from mistakes, however bitter they may be.
It doesn’t matter too much if your worldview differs greatly from that of the woman you date. After all — opposites attract each other. If it even should matter. There are 7 billion people in the world, why would anyone hate anyone for what they think, it’s 21st century, after all.
But if, all things considered, your ways of life are just not compatible, then it’s easy to mend — just break up. If you’re already too deep into the relationship by the point where you understand the intricacies of your person’s mind, then you should’ve paid more attention. There can always be a trait in your partner that you hate. If you can’t change it — then leave it, one way or another.
Hopefully, you think this article is quite good. But if not – well, it’s unfortunate. However, you can always check out the other publications this website has to offer, here they are. And there’s also this video you can watch if you’re tired of reading: